Train to Homebake

Have you got Davo’s number? Yeah it’s oh four oh two, ah na I don’t have it. Tim does. It’s oh four oh two...seven, seven six…Is it nine, nine oh? Yeah. He called me last night. He said, “Eliza wanna come to a party?” I’m like, “Na, I’m in a traffic jam.”  He’s fucked up. He hooked up with a fat chick with gaps in her teeth. Awesome. Can you get into the Glasshouse in shorts? On Wednesday nights. Did youse go out last night?  Ya better not  have. Na, but I have a new dress I really want to wear. Your Home and Away dress? No. that’s my ten-dollar dress. Sally died. She got herpes from a porno guy and died. We should have bought a bourbon flagon. How many times did he do it with her? She’s gotta baby, yeah? Can’t believe it’s going to rain. Its’s not going to rain. Its’s raining. Cheer up a bit. Yeah bit  grey, Eeyore. How good was Stargate last night? Yeah, just me and Chacha. Cool yeah. That’s the weirdest photo, it’s all fuzzy. You can’t even see my nipple, just an arm coming from nowhere. Graeme’s nipple is so wrong. It looks like someone’s gotta Mars Bar and squashed it there. He got it pierced and it just went huge. When it’s like that you have to take it out. Move your leg over. No, they’re my two-hundred-dollar shoes. That’s my broken leg. What is that? That’s my bone. No way, it’s all fat. No one else has that. Dirt bag. Teenage dirt bag. What time did you get home? Four. I got into bed at four thirty. He said he loved me. He said, “Yeah it’s forever.” I said to him like, “stick it in, just don’t move it.” N-o-o-o. That is a nice house. That is a g-o-o-d house. Is there surf maybe? Na. there’s nothing. Shut up Aleeysha, yo freak. You been on Myspace? Bernard’s there. What are we doing this weekend? Let’s get into the Sambuccas. Na, it’s like I’m getting off. You put it into the microwave for two minutes. Neapolitan ice cream? Na, that pasta, curly shit with sauce. Oh, I thought they were talking about, you know, the pink, white and chocolate ice cream. It is going to be so expensive to get drunk. We’re getting shirts made, me and Trev. We laughed from Gerringong to Batemans Bay. Its’s not funny. Are you even Australian? I said, “Like no, dude.” You shoulda filled up a drink bottle with bourbon and coke, we could get this cracking.